If you know me you would think my first boyfriend was this stupid shitter boy from my senior year in high school, but that is inaccurate. I would say my first actual boyfriend was when I was 16 years old, junior year of high school. He was a senior and we met through my best friend's boyfriend at the time. We did typical high school relationship shit, went to his schools sport events as eye candy, met his family, went on movie dates...the usual. He was such a good guy, tall (taller than me in heels), dark skin, involved in extracurricular activities, on the SGA, very intellectual and charming. It was definitely his charm that got me hooked on to him. Our age difference made me feel real grown, even though we were just a year a part, dating a senior as an underclassmen is a big deal. His friends were really cool and I loved how he was all into me and even invited me out with his friends too (nowadays that's very rare). We would be on the phone for hourssssss, talking about any and everything; where we saw oursleves in future years and making plans to be together. looking back now I am pretty sure I had conversations with all my lovers about our future together (lol I am so silly).
I think he was my first actual intimate relationship too. I got my first kiss when I was in the seventh grade. I was 12 and he was 16, and we share some tongue action, down my throat style, through my sisters' bedroom window. It was late night and of course I couldn't have boys over...so you know, I was being a little sneaky child, a little fast ass. (I think I have a thing for older guys) Anyways, my first boyfriend was actually also the first to perform oral sex on me. My mom use to think my best friend and I were in a lesbian relationship, so she would encourage me to hang with dudes and spend lots of time with any guy I am involved with at the moment. My mom would literally leave me at my boyfriends' house until 2am, she is that crazy. Back to basics...I think my boyfriend thought he was introducing me to new things and I mean he definitely was, the only thing I had ever done besides kiss is have intense make out sessions. The first time he performed oral sex on me we were at his house, in his room, door locked but lights one (weird I know). He began with sucking on my boobs, if you know me, you know I have big titts; although, I am not sure if they were fully grown at 16, but it was hella a lot he was trying to fit in his mouth. It was completely new for me, the sensation, the fast breathing, the caressing and the action itself, I was loving it for sure. After sucking my boobs for a little, he then proceeds to unbutton my pants and plants love kisses from my neck down to my stomach, then all the way down for my inner thighs. I can not recall how long it lasted or how I felt during it, but I know how I felt afterwards...pretty fucking sexy.
Our relationship was actually one of the good ones. I can't remember every detail about it, but I do not remember dealing with extras, dishonesty and disrespect. Unfortunately, he spoiled me with affection and attention, set me up for disaster with these other dudes. We even went to prom together and it was definitely a night I won't forget, not because I lost my virginity , or anything like that. The night was just simply perfect, my dress, my boyfriend, the dinner, the event, just a good time. I went to his graduation ceremony with his family and even to his graduation cookout.
Literally after the cookout he broke up with me. We had got into an argument on how rude I was being and that was it. Its actually really funny because back in my high schools day I was definitely a total bitch. I know I wasn't always the sweetest pea to him, I was probably mean for no reason, but I was young so we can let that slide. We tried working on things all summer, we were pretty much together but without a title..probably my first situationship. When he went off to college we tried the long distance thing, but I didn't see how that was going to work out with me still being in high school. Over time we grew distant and that was it for us. He also got a new girlfriend out of nowhere, in a blink of an eye ...but thats neither here nor there.
We did not end on a bad note, which I appreciate with him. We still keep in contact with each other and he even came to visit me and my friends while I was away in school, of course it was homecoming though. It was a learning experience for us both and definitely a series of first times for me. It is great we did not end on a bad note and we are actually friends in present day.
To me, it is important to still be able to have a good relationship with your ex. You do not have to be the best of friends, or even still be dealing with each other on an intimate level. If this person meant something to you at one point you will always care about their well-being. In the same sense that takes maturity and an understanding of boundaries; respecting each other and where you both stand in each others lives.