Figuring Out These 20 Somethings
SPECIAL NOTE: This is a personal message, a note to self, a reminder for myself and others who may need a little more reassurance...
Everything will always be ok.
My best friend said that to me freshman year of college and it has been my motto ever since. Those days when my spirit and confidence is low and I can't find the motivation to get out of bed -- I did. I conquered every bad day I thought was going to suffocate me, and I did it with perseverance.
At 22 years old I am constantly reminding myself that I'm still very young and I still have lots more growing to do. It's perfectly ok to make mistakes, life is a learning experience. If I didn't make mistakes, than I am not trying; I'm not working hard enough. I'm not going to get everything right the first go around, but it is important that I am gaining knowledge from those mishaps. It is also very important that I am not too critical on myself. With writing and my teaching career, I always feel like I could be doing way more. Yes, that's true, I can always be doing more, but I also should never shortchange myself with all the things I've accomplished this far. Every achievement, big or small, needs to be recognized, because people are quick to shout your failures and whisper your success.
Always been a confusing concept to me. Some days I feel like I am ready to fully and entirely commit myself to someone else, and then I remember that I'm young and I am selfish, and I really only have time to worry about myself (I may can spare some moments to share with others). In my experience with dating, never be exclusive with one person, unless you can really trust that person. Whether I like to admit it often, I do have feelings and they do get hurt. Most of the time my feelings get hurt, because I'm not using basic logic, I'm just following my heart. Although being a hopeless romantic should never discourage you, it does create complications and expectations that aren't really feasible.
Friends come and go, and that is just life. You grow out of them and sometimes adulating makes you too busy to even tend to them. Truth is, if they are your real friends and are working towards a prosperous future, they won't have that much time for you either. Real friends, no matter the time, nor the distance, will remain your friend forever, through whatever (Just ask my friends)
I assure myself that I am allowed to move at my own pace, as long as I keep moving. I'm not in competition with anyone but the old me. I emphasize that the path I am going down is made specifically for me and no matter the obstacles, I can overcome anything. Throughout college I found myself and I figured out the woman I wanted to become, since then I've been working diligently towards being her.