Talk To Me Nice

Have the courage to be sincere, clear and honest. This opens the door to deeper communication all around. It creates self-empowerment and the kind of connections with others we all want in life. Speaking from the heart frees us from the secrets that burden us. These secrets are what make us sick or fearful. Speaking truth helps you get clarity on your real heart directives
— Sara Paddison

New age dating is like an infinite math equation..

New age dating is like an infinite math equation, with a million different possible outcomes, but ultimately there could only be one right answer. I've been coming across a new type of dating game, the one where we can't get pass basic communication problems and it leaves me baffled at how much interpersonal skills these dudes are lacking. To be completely honest, it's always easy to point blame at the opposite party, without recognizing faults in ourselves. So I'll blame 1/3 of it on social media, 1/3 of it on the very easy access to sex and 1/3 of it goes to the new age femme, who is not confined by any rules. 

No one gave us the rule book on how to adult through dating. It's just something we watched in Disney movies and got thrown into when middle school started and relationships seemed to be like a big deal. As adults, our communication skills need to be on proficient, not only for the sake of our love lives, but also for our professional lives as well. How can we expect to be successful in life and love, if we can't effectively converse with others without getting into an argument over differences in opinion? Communication isn't just the basic small talk conversation starter, it involves being able to articulate feelings appropriately, solve problems verbally and calmly, and the ability to have an intellectual discussion, that doesn't necessarily mean asking me what I'm doing every 4 minutes.

When did it become the norm to not feel the need to speak to your significant other on a daily basis? I would feel insulted if my nigga thinks he's not obligated to communicate with me everyday. You're not mine if you're not concerned with how my day went or how I'm feeling today. With social media outlets like Snapchat and Twitter, we've grown so accustomed to checking someone's story before asking what they're up to for the day. We skip the part where we have to actually interact with others; we've become so anti-people that we've concluded the only way to fix issues with others is to cut them off. Then we wonder why relationships have become more complex than ever...because we haven't developed the patience to work through them. 

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What we lack in communication skills, our hormones have replaced with our sex drive. Sex is everywhere! It's so easy to come by, like a random penny on the ground. Again, social media is the culprit, mixed with the tons of female who throw that ass back for a dollar meal at McDonalds. The walk of shame no longer brings shame to the new age Femme, because we do not follow society standards. We also don't follow our parents standards, who raised us to believe our bodies are our temples and should be treated with respect and value. The value of sex has decreased, hence the decrease in commitment. I completely understand why men would rather add 5 more bodies than deal with opening up to a woman, they won't have to learn to communicate (brings the communication point to full circle). Hit a girl up in her DMs, tell her come through and she in there. Niggas would rather have pass around pussy, than pass on some pussy and women are handing out their cookies like they all got the golden ticket. Practicing poor pussy management does a lot for your stock value. Women have become what men like, a good time, and nothing more. 

Be upfront with what you want and what you expect

Of course communication and sex aren't the only major issues with dating and maintaining relationships. I do my best in rectifying this problem, by not putting up with anyone's bullshit (mainly because I'm already drowning in my own bullshit) and I highly recommend other follow suit. Be upfront with what you want and what you expect and if having expectations is like a phobia to you, check yourself (you're weird). It's ok to have expectations of someone or of how you would like something to go. Disappointment is inevitable in life, but you can show someone how to treat you and if the don't get it, cut they ass loose. One mans trash is another's treasure, don't limit your options, limit your stress.