Modernism and The Male
I recently saw a meme on Twitter that involved a girl being excited that a guy she was dealing with asked her how her day was and if she had anything to eat. I literally laughed out loud at the ludicrous comments and also at the women agreeing with the post. It makes me giggle, not only at the fact that a female would actually be impressed by this, but also at the fact that these are manners of someone you are involved with on an intimate level. How ridiculous is it that a woman with some sort of self-respect would even be entertaining someone who is not genuinely concerned with their significant others well-being? It should be the norm to ask someone how they are doing. It should come as second nature if one was raised with some sort of etiquette. Do mothers not condition their sons to be gentlemen anymore? There seems to be some misunderstanding of what should happen in relationships and what is expected of your lover.
This generation of Black men needs some guidance on how to take care of a woman. There is a very big problem when it is not regular to ask your significant other about how they’re feeling or what they’re doing. The problem gets even bigger when a guy can easily ask for sex, food, money, but cannot inquire about your well-being. Of course, these days our culture does not generally abide by traditional gender roles, which is why a guy would ask you out on a date and make you pay for yourself. Some males would argue what is wrong with a girl paying for herself, but my rebuttal would be what is right with it? I am definitely all for being an independent woman, who does not need a man to do anything for her, but I also know my role and play it very well. If someone asks me on a date, am I really wrong for assuming they are picking up the tab? If I was to invite someone out it would be my intentions to sponsor the outing.
It is not just the males who follow the wrong set of guidelines on dating, females too have lost their ways. I have noticed an increasing amount of women taking care of their men. Granted, there is absolutely nothing wrong with treating your man and even catering to him (to an extent) men deserve to know when they are appreciated, especially Black men. However, I do not condone a woman providing for a grown ass man. Letting him reside in a house you pay rent for, while he is living off your pay checks and surviving off your groceries, is not respecting your womanhood. Nothing is wrong with helping your man get back on his feet, but we are too old and too grown to be “holding down our man” you should be building together, growing with each other, not man-sitting.
A part of being with someone is knowing what you bring to the table and what they are offering so that you two are compatible. Effort and energy of both parties should balance out. Women should not be settling for these half ass men, giving less than what you deserve. Understand your value and recognize when a man has nothing going for themselves. If a dude cannot simply ask you, how you’re doing, chances you are better off doing you without him.