Playing The Dating Game
Lets talk about it...how long do you think you should be dating someone until you feel it should be official? After that time has passed, are you still willing to be involved with this person, or is it a clear sign that it is time for you to move on?
This topic came up as I was browsing through my intriguing Twitter timeline. Everyone of course had their own opinion on dating and when they feel it is time to make things official. One guy stated that a guy knows after a few months whether or not he is going to make you his girlfriend and if it has been an exceeded amount of time, then obviously he never wants to make you his girlfriend. Another girl explained that she was doesn't like rushing into relationships and dating really works for her, so she can really get to know her partner. Some girls said they're only willing to wait but for so long, a year dating is a long time and if he hasn't asked by then he probably won't ever. I agree and I disagree, everyone's situation is different, there are certain circumstances that need to be accounted for before making assumptions. Although waiting around for a year is still ridiculous.
The purpose of dating is to get to know each other. I dropped the term talking, because I'm 22 years old and I graduated high school years ago. Either we're entertaining each other for some casual attention, or we are dating and building towards a relationship. I'm not too fond of entertaining people, I prefer my time not to be wasted. I do admit though, I may give out my number with no intentions of taking you seriously, but you can't open your heart up to everyone. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship. After being in about 6 situations where things just don't work out, I can understand why someone is not interested in wanting to be serious with another person for a while. The point of it all is to be honest with one another, making sure that at the beginning of the situation you are communicating effectively of where you see things going.
The problem these days is we give boyfriend benefits to people we are just dating/entertaining and husband privileges to a whole bunch of half ass boyfriends. We've gotten to comfortable with the dating/talking stage, that we make excuses as to why we don't want to be in an actual relationship. If someone is treating you like you're already their boyfriend, why would you need to be extra and put a title on it? That is how people think these days, but being in a relationship has more value to it than just dating someone. Relationships give you a sense of security, it takes things to another level, it shows that you are committed and willing to be with someone through whatever. Dating is just dating. It is suppose to be about getting to know each other and seeing if this is someone you might can see yourself with for a while. Dating is short terms, relationships are long terms, and most of the time dating becomes a long term complication. Dating for a year is a long time, being a relationship for a year is rare these days.
Lets be honest, if it has been over a year and you're still waiting for your dude to ask to be in a relationship, or you're still waiting for your girl to want to be your girlfriend, it most likely is not happening. I'm not saying he/she is still out here entertaining other people, although that could very well be true too. I'm just saying this is a clear indication that they have commitment issues and you need to move on. If you have been consistently showing that you are worth it and they still give you excuses, it is not worth the time wasted and getting your feelings hurt. Being involved with another person is always risky, because you never know anyone's true intentions with you, unless they've made it very clear from the start. If someone told you from the beginning they're not looking for anything serious and you still chose to pursue this person, of course you'll end up with your feelings hurt. Don't ignore the red flags and be cautious of the warning signs. Be with someone who sees a future with you, not someone who cares about you when it is convenient.