The Imitation of Sex

sex can look like love if you don’t know what sex looks like
— Rebecca Walker

One of the most important things my parents taught me was to value myself and my body. I was taught that my body was a temple, and it was the highest honor to let any man enter my sanctuary. I was taught that my virginity was something very special and once it was gone I could never have my innocence back. I was taught that being a virgin was pure, and that I shouldn't have sex until I was emotionally capable. I was encouraged to to wait until marriage, to save my virginity for my husband, the man who wanted to share the rest of his life with me. I was raised to believe my sexuality is personal, it is private. I was taught having too many partners and being too open about my sexuality is not favorable. I learned that I shouldn't chase after males, because they'll always make their way to you. But no one ever taught me how to separate lust from love; from men who want you or want to be with you. 

In the society we live in sex has decreased in value. Being a virgin in college is like committing social suicide. Conversations with males you first meet generally involve exchanging body counts. relationships are very rare, because apparently we are too young to be devoted to one person. Relationships do not work because we are to worried about how many other people we could be missing out on. This generation is more about the moment than the memory, living to fulfill our desires instead of our needs. We have conditioned ourselves to think having a strong connection with someone or having feelings for someone makes us look weak. We praise each other for being able to juggle more than one person. We long for physical connections rather than emotional ones. We have created new definitions of relationships and sex, where you can have one without the other, instead of the traditional 2 for 1 deal. We have created our own imitation of sex

As a womanist, sex is always a controversial debate. Even though society tells you sex is just an act of lust, it is way deeper than that. Sex with someone you care about is a moment of intimacy, it is an experience that brings people closer together. Sharing a part of yourself with someone, letting someone enter your body, should be a special moment. Sex can be just sex, but that is not always the case. It is okay to love someone, that is what we are meant to do, to have feelings and express those feelings. One night of passion does not equate to a lifetime of intimacy. Temporary people make less of a difference, than someone who is permanently giving you their love. Recognize the imitation of sex understand the meaning of lust and love. Let yourself love and allow others to give you love too.